university-college

[dustpuppy]

[lover]

Okay guys, I could use your advice, so here's the thing;

There's this man at uni that's got to be the rudest man I've ever met. Call me conservative but I think men should treat women respectfully, especially when they're not involved in any way and are just engaging in a formal relationship (classmates, in this case). There's a very outrageous professor at uni that I really can't stand and a few people and I had a talk about him. This guy practically bit my head off for expressing my opinion about him (it was me and another girl who said the same thing). He told me that some people just have hard times at his class and look for something to complain about and that I should look on my ego before judging other people's (this Prof has a HUGE ego, that comment's coming from almost anyone I know, other professors included). He kindly added that I was just looking for teachers that would boost my ego, that I ran away from any intellectual challenge, that I was annoying. He completely started analysing me and he doesn't know the last thing about me. For the punch line he said: "and don't take me personally. Take me VERY personally". Is this the Theatre and Drama department?

Just so I'm clear- this guy is absolutely disgusting, he's been attacking all women and pretty much everyone who disagrees with him since day one, he talks in the name of other people and he thinks he's always right. He insults people, calls them idiots and is basically a complete p***k. Frankly, I'm not a very patient girl and he's really getting on my last nerve. I shut him up at the beginning of the year and we haven't even said hello to each other since (we were getting along quite well at first, he's hot lol). I tried to ignore his comments because I couldn't take the effort to reply to someone whose opinion I couldn't care less about, but I'm getting to a point where my temper has had just about as much as it could take. I replied, and mind you, I was quite rude and I know it's just going to go downhill from here. Obviously, ignoring him doesn't cut it, arguing with him is just tiring and isn't worth my time, but I can't shut up anymore. I've got other things on my mind at the moment and this drama just doesn't seem to work for me. I want my professional relationships to be as distant and calm as possible, if I'm looking for drama, I can easily find it in my personal life. I know myself- I'm going to snap at him eventually and it's going to get VERY ugly, any ideas?

Sorry this is so long!

[dustpuppy]

^^^ Biggest problem with guys like that is that they usually have tenure, so they know they can't be fired. Over here, you could talk to the Dean and mention the words, 'sexual harassment lawsuit' and they'd be up his ass, just to keep from getting sued. Not sure how they are about such things over there.

[shannenzbitch]

I don't know this guy personally (thank gloin for that), but I always go for upfront honesty no matter what. Yes, sometimes that involves unpleasantness, but I think, in your current situation, you can't really afford to let the rage he's causing continue to build up inside of you, otherwise you are REALLY going to lose your s**t at him. Perhaps you should take him aside after class (when there's no one else around for him to impress) and just explain why his behaviour is problematic. Whatever you do, don't lose your cool when you do this - if it descends into a verbal slinging match, the entire purpose of the confrontation will have been defeated. Be blunt, but not insulting. Goodluck, hope this helps.

*squishy hugs*

[lover]

Chuck- I can't talk to his manager, I'm not going to talk to the head of department (whom he respects) about it, because it's not first grade anymore, he's got much more important things on his mind and he won't take care of this (besides, I said quite a few bad things about him, I'd end up paying eventually, as this guy is a kiss arse!)

Craig- Okay, I think I may have misphrased myself. He's not going to get fired, because as far as I know, no uni fires its students . If he was a professor I wouldn't fight back, I'd keep my mouth shut and deal with it. However, it's so weird how no one stands up to him- they're either scared of him for some reason or they aren't willing do deal with people who have a pea sized brain.
Lol, I'm not going to falsely accuse someone of sexual harassment or even think about it- that's an awful thing to do and that's one step I'm never going to take.

Kenny- yay, you came, thanks sweetie! I've already talked to him upfront, which resulted in him ignoring me completely, until he started attacking me on Facebook (funny thing is that those who have me on their list would realise he probably doesn't even know it's me, unless someone told him). He just tends to attack everyone for fun, trying to annoy or insult them anytime he can. I don't respond well to people like that and tend to attack them very hard (unless they have some sort of power over me ). I'm finding it really hard to not be insulting around him- he could either ignore me completely and just talk as little as possible all year long, or I'm just going to bite my tongue even when he asks a simple question in class.

[dustpuppy]

Oops.

I thought it was one of your profs.

And you did say that he was demeaning toward females ? That would qualify as discrimination, for a prof over here. And anything the least bit suggestive counts as sexual harassment. Naturally the ones who actually do this stuff seldom get popped for it.

Since it's a student, just tell him to sod off.

Alternatively, some shrinks would say that people who behave that way are trying to get someone to punish them. Maybe you should offer to spank him ?

[lover]

Lol I don't tend to falsely accuse people of sexual harassment or cry because people "undress me with their eyes" (some women are like that, seriously, WTF?!). I'm very careful about these allegations and take them very seriously, it's one thing I'm usually very serious about (as I usually laugh at everything). Trust me, I wouldn't blame someone for sexual harassment just because I don't like them, that's sickening.

Lol I already did tell him to sod off (love this term!), he always finds his way back to pissing me off.

LMAO!! I would, he's kinda hot, but he's married with children, so I don't even want to go there .

[dustpuppy]

[lover]

LMFAO, you always manage to find the most irrelevant part of the post and talk about it for hours, you MUST be a shrink! Actually shrinks would say he was abused as a child and decided to be a bastard to correct it .