i need help for myself..(big time)

[shannenbigtimefan]

GGRRRRR....life sucks....lol

i hate being bored...its not FUN!!!...lol.....well lifes been good...not that any one loves me...lol..jk...i feel really hyper but bored...so i am going to go to my room and listen to music and read my book....yea...gonna go jam to my music!!...lol

okay this retard is leaving now....lol...

i am sorry if i am being weird right now..i am just really really hyper...

and yea i am Married on Myspace...My godmom married me...awww...how sweet...i know...well i am outta here i think...

[shannenbigtimefan]

Hey you guys...

i really really need some help..

my best friend that i have known for almost 12 yrs. is head over heels for my bro...but my bro don't like her like that....BUT he likes my best friend Brittany Linn, and i don't know whether i should break it to my best friend Nikki letting her know that my bro doesn't like her...but i don't want to be stuck in the middle of it and her getting mad at me saying that i am jealous or i am mad at her for liking my bro...which i am not...i just don't want her to get hurt!! I love Nikki with all my heart!! i would do anything for her, but i still think my bro should tell her how he feels...cause its his fault...hes the one that lead on her last night while we were at the Battery Creek High School Graduation...and all....but he was only playing with her and all that...but she was too busy to realize that he is just all fun and games...and that he don't really like her and that he likes my friend Brittany Linn. i so do not know what to do..cause ppl are telling me to tell her and some or telling me not to...but i can't just not tell her...ya know..but i think my bro should tell her not me!! but all at the same time i wanna do it...but i just don't know when the right time will be to tell her....she might be coming over sometime this week...or this weekend..and if she comes over saturday, my friend katie(myspace wife, also known as Mrs. Catherine) said she will tell her if need be...but the hard thing about it is ....my bro might show up while Nikki is at my house..and if he hurts her more that he has already..cause i am going to have to tell Nikki, i'm going to hurt him...and this well be the first time that i have ever been PUSHED so far to beat the crap outta my bro...any other time its just for fun and games...but i told Katie that she might want to hold me back if my bro comes over to my house on saturday!!! cause i am going to kick his butt! grr...this is using me SO much STRESS and its not fair..and the bad thing is that i don't won't be stuck in the middle of it...ya know?

[ronny]

Well sometimes even my life be bored. Having problems withj my family and see mom and dad fight all the time for every single thing and i enter in the middle isnt anything good...When they are aguring i go to my room and close it, i dont want to lose em both and my bro, hes everything for me. And for sure cant live without him.. And she always tells dad something about me that, she never wanted me... You know how you feel? That she tried every single thing that i be not born. Anyways, iam here alive and love my life even its bored... I hope that you be kk and remember that God lovesz ya and He will never abbond you, but be there in your rough time...

Britneys song, Iam not a girl not yet a woman disribe me alot thats what i feel and see crossroads my fav one makes me cry and think...

Be happy and never give your dreams up..

[shannenbigtimefan]

[Mercedes-Doherty]

he goes to the social services and/or some psychologist that can be operation?

[ronny]

[shannenbigtimefan]

I know its been awhile, more like almost a month, but during the time away i have been going through a lot, and i have even started to drink, my best friend/Myspace Wife Katie knows, about it, she was one of the first ppl that i told, that i was drinking, i have been getting really depressed lately and i don't know why, maybe its because i just turned 17 and so much has been going on, and i can't take it anymore, i just lost my best friend for 12 years, meaning we are no longer friends, cause of the way she has changed since she broke up with her ex, and the way she treated my lil sis and me the night she stay here, and the way she treated me the next day, and everyone saw it, i don't know, but i don't feel bad that we aren't friends because i've been thining for a good while to tell her about the way she changed and her attitude and all that, so have my other friends that are her friends. we all are tired of the way she is acting! and it was getting old. and i have start thinking about Killing myself again, which i know deep down inside, that i don't want to that!!

well i just need to vent, but i need to go to bed, for its 1 am and i have to be up at 650 am, to get my mom up, i'll get back with the rest of the story tomorrow, well later today,

[xxtoxicxtearzxx]

dat is horrible! wat kind of mother would treat their child as a slave? dont even think of killing ur self cause it isnt the answer. i no some1 who tryed to and it waz the biggest mistake of their life. You keep aiming 4 your dreams cause you are not stupid or hopeless or anything. Hang on in there hunni! Hope things get better 4 u! luv Dani xx

[shannenbigtimefan]

Hey Everyone i know its been awhile since i have updated on here. But while i was on the 6 month or however long it was break. I have been through a lot!! My mom kicked me out the house and when i was about to leave she told me that i couldn't get my stuff out of the house if i left. So my brother called the cops. and then she told the cops. AWHOLE DIFFERENT story. That the only reason i was moving out was cause she read my messages on myspace. Meaning she logged on my account and read the messages. and got pissed cause i told someone how she was treating me and that i wish i was dead, and that i couldn't take her crap anymore and all that stuff. Well The cops didn't believe my side the story and told me that i had to stay here cause i am 17 and still in school! which i think is a load of BS! But for awhile things were okay.But as of now, they are getting worse!! for my brother is back living with us and he is 20. And he thinks he can run my life now. and tell me what I HAVE to do after i graduate school on May 30th, 2007. he keeps telling me that i have to go to college, and has yelled at me cause i haven't taken the SAT test. the test to get you in college or whatever it is...But he won't get it in his head, that i don't want to go to college i wanna go straight in to the Marine Corp after i graduate. He yells at me very day like hes my dad. and he's not..and lately my mom has been yelling at me ABOUT every little thing she can think of..and i can't take it anymore..i have been through this stuff for 17 years. going on 18. and yea its only a few more months til i graduate and then turn 18 and then i'll be on my own....but i can't take everyone yelling at me for stuff i didn't do. they never hear my side of the story...and they ARE ALWAYS putting my dreams about going into Marine Corps down...and it hurts when they do that, cause you would think that family would support you the most!! And my brother said he was going to get me arrested for sellling drugs at school. which isn't true. AND besides that i don't have the time in the day to do that. cause i am always around the SRO Officer(my sister Officer Quimby), Ms. Southard, Mrs. Beach. Officer Mareno! and all the HIGH ppl in my school..But i just can't take it anymore!!

well i have more to say. but i have to get to bed. its 116 am... and they are starting to yell cause i am on the computer...but i thought i would give you guys an update...

[shannenbigtimefan]

Hey Everyone.
Well I was doing great until I just found out that my uncle is over in Iraq. Which really broke my heart. Cause he's more than a Soldier, He's my family. I miss him very much and dearly. And I am proud of my Aunt hanging in there with her kids. How she does it. I don't know. But I am VERY proud of her. But upset and hurt on the inside. And its like my family doesn't really care how I feel. Cause they keep saying bad things about my Aunt. What happened in her past is her past and in her future life she's been doing GREAT!! she has changed in so MANY ways. and no one gives her the credit she deserves. It hurts that i can't really be there for her cause she just recently moved to Jacksonville, North Carolina.

But other than all that stuff. I have been good, I've been hanging in there as much as i can do. The Police Officer at my school has a big help in this. Meeting her was the best thing in my life. If it wasn't her i wouldn't be here today. I'll prolly be behind bars. Cause of a lot of stuff that has happened since i have meet her. Like before my brother moved out. He would box me in my chest and my mom wouldn't really say anything to him about. And when i would fight back it would get to the point where i will be a few seconds away from breaking his neck. But I held myself back from it. And went to school and told the police officer. My life right now at this moment is okay. nothing really bad going on expect for my uncle being in Iraq. Well I have to get off of here. Just had to get this off my chest. even if y'all aren't writin back. it feels good to get this off my chest, so I don't let it bring me all the way down. Well later!